I wrote something on one of the two lovely, wonderful, supportive, fun, comforting and helpful adoption message boards that I frequent (one is generic to adoption, one specific to international adoption). It was one of those times that the words were flowing from my fingertips before I think my mind even thought them:
"...but I really feel that this is what we are supposed to be doing. I have such a sense of peace about this that I never had during all of our infertility treatments."
If found myself saying the same thing to Brian last night as we sat on the deck after dinner on a beautiful night. As scary as the money-end of this is, as overwhelming as the paperwork will be (I am assured and warned, by all those wonderful quirky ladies on the boards), I feel so right about what we are doing. Always in the infertility treatments - always, from day 1 - I had a really ugly devil on my shoulder whispering nasty things in my ear.
I know we were supposed to have gone through our infertility journey, I know it as well as I know anything. We made the right decisions, we needed to do the IVF, it was the right thing to do.
What I didn't know at the time was that those infertility treatments weren't about getting pregnant - they were about leading us here, to adoption, to where we are now. And that devil? He's gone; haven't heard from him in a long time. He's been replaced by a this incredible flicker of excitement, of peace in my chest that swells up when I think of what we're embarking on. And, I have to tell you, that's pretty darn refreshing.
"...but I really feel that this is what we are supposed to be doing. I have such a sense of peace about this that I never had during all of our infertility treatments."
If found myself saying the same thing to Brian last night as we sat on the deck after dinner on a beautiful night. As scary as the money-end of this is, as overwhelming as the paperwork will be (I am assured and warned, by all those wonderful quirky ladies on the boards), I feel so right about what we are doing. Always in the infertility treatments - always, from day 1 - I had a really ugly devil on my shoulder whispering nasty things in my ear.
I know we were supposed to have gone through our infertility journey, I know it as well as I know anything. We made the right decisions, we needed to do the IVF, it was the right thing to do.
What I didn't know at the time was that those infertility treatments weren't about getting pregnant - they were about leading us here, to adoption, to where we are now. And that devil? He's gone; haven't heard from him in a long time. He's been replaced by a this incredible flicker of excitement, of peace in my chest that swells up when I think of what we're embarking on. And, I have to tell you, that's pretty darn refreshing.
Here, for your viewing pleasure, is my updated "siggy" for the online boards. I loved my other one but wanted a change. This one fits the bill!
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