Today as I drove with the girls we discovered a lovely all-American display of flag after flag after flag. I mean flag after flag. Block after block. The girls were delighted. That led to a conversation about how lucky they are because they have two flags that they can call their own, the US Stars and Stripes, of course, and the Russian flag.
I've been trying to talk a lot more about Russia, now that we've been home nearly a year. Yes, that's right, nearly a year. I think it's because Hope's 4th birthday is imminent, and will be quickly followed by Leah's 5th. Gulp. I'm reminded about their births - seeing as it is, you know, a birth-day celebration - and it's somewhat bittersweet since we weren't there at their births. I know that we weren't supposed to be, I know God put us together when we were supposed to be together, but sometimes there's a twinge of not having known the girls as babies, not having rocked them, comforted them, loved them and nurtered them.
So tonight at dinner we told Papa all about the flags and they proudly proclaimed that they got to have two flags that were theirs while Mommy and Papa (we've pretty much transitioned to Mommy but still call Papa Papa) "only" have one.
Lucky girls!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Fah-der's Day
I was going to write about a moment, one with Leah and her Papa. But then there was another moment, one with Hope and her Papa, so we'll just have to be equal here. And, as Hope's fond of saying these days, "That's fair."
Life is stressful. Work is hard. Days are hard. We run, run, run and don't feel like we're getting anywhere.
Then you look over while you're at the pool in a rare moment of being together, and you (and you here is me) see Leah putting her arms around her Papa's neck, laying her head on his chest as he's slighly inclined in the shallow wave pool and just being still, for a moment, which for our firecracker Leah is rare. It gave me pause. It was what it's about.
Then later, when a girl who is so tired from a day of church and a crazy schedule and time at Grammy and Grampy's with the inflatable pool and the water table and the big pool with Mama and Papa actually asks to go to bed before her sister ("Leah can finish watching the movie, but I'm ready to go up to sleep," Hope said) has, upon request, cajoled all of us into bed for a few cuddles, you have another moment. You look over and Hope lays her arm over her Papa's back, pats it. She takes her hand and runs it over his head. She puts her hand on his face and rests it, just for a moment, before returning it to his back to stroke him. With the other she reaches for my hand, and, just like that, is asleep.
So today as the stresses of life beat upon my spirit, I will carry with me this: Brian's a Papa. Hope and Leah have a Papa. We were together. We went half way around the world four times and back. And now we're a family.
Life is stressful. Work is hard. Days are hard. We run, run, run and don't feel like we're getting anywhere.
Then you look over while you're at the pool in a rare moment of being together, and you (and you here is me) see Leah putting her arms around her Papa's neck, laying her head on his chest as he's slighly inclined in the shallow wave pool and just being still, for a moment, which for our firecracker Leah is rare. It gave me pause. It was what it's about.
Then later, when a girl who is so tired from a day of church and a crazy schedule and time at Grammy and Grampy's with the inflatable pool and the water table and the big pool with Mama and Papa actually asks to go to bed before her sister ("Leah can finish watching the movie, but I'm ready to go up to sleep," Hope said) has, upon request, cajoled all of us into bed for a few cuddles, you have another moment. You look over and Hope lays her arm over her Papa's back, pats it. She takes her hand and runs it over his head. She puts her hand on his face and rests it, just for a moment, before returning it to his back to stroke him. With the other she reaches for my hand, and, just like that, is asleep.
So today as the stresses of life beat upon my spirit, I will carry with me this: Brian's a Papa. Hope and Leah have a Papa. We were together. We went half way around the world four times and back. And now we're a family.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Sum-, sum-, summertime
The weather better be nice tomorrow because I want to take me some girls to the pool! Life during the week is so crazy that I've come to crave time on Saturdays, especially. Sunday gets crazy again with church and trying to make sure we're on track for the coming week. I hope to be able to take the girls to play and splash.
We had our second follow-up visit with our social worker this week; this first year home we were required to do one at six-months and one at the nearly year mark; in 2012 we'll do one and another in 2013. I understand the need for these but don't love them. That's all I'm going to say about that.
I'll try to take some pics this weekend. Adios!
We had our second follow-up visit with our social worker this week; this first year home we were required to do one at six-months and one at the nearly year mark; in 2012 we'll do one and another in 2013. I understand the need for these but don't love them. That's all I'm going to say about that.
I'll try to take some pics this weekend. Adios!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Gosh, it's hot
It's June. And it's HOT. Too hot. Like 100-ish hot.
It's not that hot where we were this time last year. Anyone want to wager a guess? Not of the temperature (70s and 80s) but of the location?
After meeting the girls for the first time in December of 2009, we FINALLY were invited back to see them again in June of 2010. Then, between June and August we made three - yes, three - trips to and from Russia before we walked in our front door as a family of four.
It's hard not to look back. Like all life events, it seems both so recent and so, so long ago. I actually don't like to look back at this trip, or even the next, because they were really, really scary. I'm not going to go into how close we came to it all falling apart. It makes me physically ill and beyond frightened, like it's all going to change if I think about it too much. Let's just say that I'll be really excited to note the late July date when we, a year ago, actually "took custody." The real date we'll celebrate will always be Homecoming Day of Aug. 19, 2010.
It's hard, too, to think of all the time we lost. I try to focus on the tomorrows and not the yesterdays, though.
On a related note, today is a day of celebration as my friends Jasmine, Eric and their daughter, Jenavieve, welcomed hom a new daughter, Journey, from Ethiopia. Their son remains in Ethiopia awaiting finalization of some court documents. I'm beyond overjoyed for them. Journey is absolutely precious and Vivi will make the best big sister.
I'm beyond blessed to be surrounded by adoption. It's in our pores now...and we'll be forever grateful.
It's not that hot where we were this time last year. Anyone want to wager a guess? Not of the temperature (70s and 80s) but of the location?
After meeting the girls for the first time in December of 2009, we FINALLY were invited back to see them again in June of 2010. Then, between June and August we made three - yes, three - trips to and from Russia before we walked in our front door as a family of four.
It's hard not to look back. Like all life events, it seems both so recent and so, so long ago. I actually don't like to look back at this trip, or even the next, because they were really, really scary. I'm not going to go into how close we came to it all falling apart. It makes me physically ill and beyond frightened, like it's all going to change if I think about it too much. Let's just say that I'll be really excited to note the late July date when we, a year ago, actually "took custody." The real date we'll celebrate will always be Homecoming Day of Aug. 19, 2010.
It's hard, too, to think of all the time we lost. I try to focus on the tomorrows and not the yesterdays, though.
On a related note, today is a day of celebration as my friends Jasmine, Eric and their daughter, Jenavieve, welcomed hom a new daughter, Journey, from Ethiopia. Their son remains in Ethiopia awaiting finalization of some court documents. I'm beyond overjoyed for them. Journey is absolutely precious and Vivi will make the best big sister.
I'm beyond blessed to be surrounded by adoption. It's in our pores now...and we'll be forever grateful.
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