My cute siggy

Here is what is called my "siggy" - it was designed by a woman on one of the infertility boards that I post to/communicate on. There's a woman who does them for free - so I don't think this one is too bad for a free siggy from a stranger! Instead of a boring written "Holly" on the bottom of messages I post, this shows up!

Obviously, if I'm still frequenting infertility boards (really an IVF support board - just because it didn't work for us on our first try, that doesn't mean that I can't support other women going through it and/or answer questions for newbies on our experience), I'm not quite ready to leave this all behind. Wait...that's wrong. I haven't quite figure out HOW to leave this all behind! There are lots of thoughts swirling in this crazy brain of mine,

I will admit this isn't my favorite time. Work isn't exactly rock-star awesome; winter won't go away; Guinness just did something really rank that is stinking up the living room (OK, I just added that because it just happened and it seemed to fit); and I just don't know what I'm supposed to do next. For a planner like me, someone who has spent the last two years driving toward one singular goal, not having a real belief that we'll get pregnant with a child is more than strange. I feel like a balloon without a string, floating along in the wind. I'm SO in love with Brian and know I am so lucky to be with him, and that should be enough. I just want so badly for us to have what it seems like everyone around us seems to have and be able to do.

OK, now I'm just whining more. Maybe that's not a fair description. I'm just trying to work stuff out and I'm doing it on a page!

Thanks to anyone who is still checking in...love to you all.